Tag Archives: priviliged

Privileged a new scold?

I’m a white person (no worries I’m not offended, as I am white and I like my cheese too, so no offence if you call me cheesehead) who are a minority in Qatar.
The new scold word seems to be ‘being privileged’, I’m not offended as I think I’m lucky indeed. But the negative tone in which it has been said hurts, as if I’m a bad person being priviliged?!

My children are few of the privileged people who pay a lot of money to join a service trip in Africa, helping to build a school. Take my word, you can have a luxury family holiday instead. 
Service wise I don’t think the children are much of a help, but they learn something out of the experience. Most of all that it’s all about money and not so much about interaction or coming together.
My daughter came home very confused. 
During the trip, there was one moment the children were allowed to play with the kindergarten children and speak english with them.
All the little girls wanted to sit on my daughter’s lap and touch her hair, she’s got long blond hair, you must know.
She asked the girls why they wanted to sit with her all the time.
A: “Because you look like an angel”
“I’m not and I think YOU look like an angel”
A:“No I’m black”
My daughter was only 15 years at that time and the girl 5 or so, she was flabbergasted and very frustrated
“Mam, what on the …….. can you do when people have such a low self-image?”

In the psychology there’s a theory that says that what you say/believe/think/convinced of, tells a lot about yourself.

When people point at me that I’m priviliged, they put themselves, in a roll of accuser or victim at the same time.
Like the theory of mr. Karpman says, it will become a drama when I want to save them. Because, I can not change a situation, at most I can help out in certain situations, using my talents and skills (i.e. sending in money via my daughter) but I can’t save anybody from their own believes/thoughts or convictions and I can’t help somebody who keeps accusing others or pitying themselves.

“What can you do…..?”
“Believe you’re an angel and if you want I would love to try flying together” That might have been an answer.”

IFGAblogperson

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Trust

Last week I wrote about fear. But writing about fear made me realise that fear also has got everything to do with trust.
Fear is a lack of trust; a trust that ‘it will be alright’.
In many ways I’m very privileged; I come from a society where I can trust the health system, police and government; that they will try to; keep- and make me healthy and act according the law and if not I can go to court. That doesn’t mean I agree with everything but at least I know I have got rights.
I’m also confident with myself that I’ve got enough knowledge and strength to solve the problems I met.

Here in the Middle East I haven’t got that trust. As a white, confident and independent woman you never can be sure; If, how and when you will be judged when/if you do something wrong (even if other men do the same). Let alone the consequences.
I think this very uncomfortable feeling, comes close to fear.
I can feel it in my throat; like a bone stuck deep in my throat.
I’ve got that feeling too when I’m watching the news or reading papers? 
I don’t trust journalism anymore;
-knowing how journalist get their information,
-knowing how news depends on the point of view,
-knowing what kind of news ‘sales’ and
-knowing that certain news will reach me and other news won’t because I’m not in the ‘liking’ list.

It makes me afraid because I don’t have the control anymore over my trust in the things I hear/ read which are the base of my ideas of good and bad, my values and I have no idea how to solve this problem.
It makes me frustrated and angry. 
I hear and see a lot of signs that other people feel the same. And that’s scary, because I know by experience that for me ‘it will be allright’ I’ve been in more similar situations of loss of control and feeling out of my comfort zone but I know most people haven’t and I don’t trust most people to act in a smart way as I know that fear will interfere with the ability of people to think logically and ahead.

IFGAblogperson